Thoughts You Have When You Start a Long Distance Relationship
This means you've embraced the opportunity for love but also have the challenges that come with the distance between the two of you. Everyone has different thoughts about this when trying a long-distance relationship, but many of them are common to most people in such circumstances.
The distance involved with any relationship such as this can make you feel lonely, but you won't feel as alone when you find out you're not the only one who has certain thoughts about trying this kind of romance.
Will It Be Meaningful?Is your long-distance relationship going to be something that actually matters? Will you be able to romance each other from far away during the long-distance phase of the relationship? Or is it just a promissory note that you two intend to get serious when you're both back in the same place at the same time?
Is This Going to Actually Work?This is hands down the biggest single fear most people have when they start their long-distance connection. You know what can go wrong. You might even worry more about the things you don't know.
Is your love enough to make it work? If you can't envision yourself without your significant other, then you have to at least try. If they want you, too, then you have a chance.
How Will You Handle the Gifts?Part of any relationship is giving each other gifts. Some occasions are going to be expected and happen regularly. They could include Valentine's Day, birthdays, and Christmas.
There will also be surprise gifts or moments of spontaneity. Then again, how spontaneous can your cute gifts be if they live hundreds of miles away?
Whether you're buying boyfriend gifts or girlfriend gifts, do you mail them to your partner? Or do you stock them up and wait until you're in person to give them?
Many people in long-distance relationships have to actually decide gift by gift. They save some for the next visit, and they send others by mail. Of course, digital gifts, such as e-cards and gift certificates, can be sent right away.
It's a 24/7 World. Time Zones Don't MatterYes, it's true that the digital age means everyone can connect to one another pretty much all the time. A possibility is one thing, but actually doing it is another.
If you're both in the same time zone, scheduling your connection times is going to be easier than anything. Even a one-hour difference isn't that big of a deal.
Things get tricky when the time zones are two hours apart. Communication is essential to any relationship, be it local or long-distance. It's harder to do if you're having dinner when they're still at work.
Another thing to keep in mind is that some states honor daylight savings times when others don't. That could mean you're two hours different for part of the year and then one or three hours different.
No matter how much you two intend to talk every single day, it's better to actually schedule it in a concrete fashion. Texting can carry a lot of conversation, but video chatting is important, too.
Some apps let you video chat and play games at the same time. You can commit time to your relationship and have fun unwinding at the same time.
How Important Is Physical Contact Anyway?Honestly, it's pretty important. Everyone's libido is different, and not everyone is as sensual as others, but physical touch is crucial to most relationships. You're going to have to balance your needs with the frequency the two of you can actually get together.
On the flip side, this particular challenge might be a place where your relationship can grow. Not every couple is interested in things like phone or video sex, but modern technology does open up avenues of exploration that willing couples can try.
How Long Do We Need to Make This Happen?Few couples relish the idea of being in an eternal long-distance relationship. Eventually, you want to be with each other. The long-term goal of most relationships is settling down with one another.
You have to get over the obstacles in front of you first. That might be one of you going to a certain school. One of you might be somewhere because of a job opportunity. Sometimes, you're both in different countries entirely.
How long will that last, though? Students eventually graduate. Jobs don't last forever.
Figure out a timeline that lets you both achieve your current life goals before you can get together. A timeline can actually backfire if you look at how long it is and dread it, but it can also be a chance to say "This won't last forever. Let's break this down into manageable stretches and figure out how to go the distance."
Phone Fights StinkDon't all fights stink? Maybe so, but at least fighting in person makes it much easier to make up after the fact. Technology means you can hang up and even block someone and then fume all day, night, or week.
If you are text-fighting or chatting, then be sure you use emojis. Give your words emotional context so you are understood. They might not be a great replacement for body language, but they might also save your relationship.
Just remember that sometimes your texts and phone calls aren't returned because they're busy. Part of the sacrifice involved with a long-distance relationship is not knowing as much about how their day is going until you hear from them.
How Often Can I See My Love This Year?This can be one of the more stressful details to figure out in a long-distance relationship. It often comes down to the overlap of your available times together, your finances, and how far apart the two of you are.
The real dividing line is whether you can get there by road or by plane. If you live within two hours of your partner and have your own car, you could be there every weekend. You might even make day trips for special occasions. Admit it, you'd spend four hours on the road in one day to have lunch with them.
If you are separated by more than two hours by car, bus, or train, you can find a great spot to meet each other halfway. A small, welcoming town or city in between can be the place you two spend time together away from both your lives.
If it takes a plane flight, the expenses go up and the frequency of your visits will likely go down. Try to alternate who flies win to keep costs down. Communication and organization always win in a long-distance relationship.
I Hate This. Was This the Right Decision?It's okay to decide it was a bad call. Some days are going to be miserable without your love near you. That's life.
Just make sure you don't immediately give in when this feeling strikes. Ride it out, and remember why you love them and what the potential is.
They are worth it. You are worth it. The love the two of you share is worth it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be trying.
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